dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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