i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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