we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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