So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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