Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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