ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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