She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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