I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
