Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
As shirtless as possible
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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