I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
