Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
