I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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