I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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