Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
