Dual....:-)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
