Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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