we have officially lost it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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