My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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