We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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