took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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