Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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