got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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