dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
