There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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