I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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