I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
