Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
