I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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