Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
