my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
