we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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