She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
