I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
