I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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