just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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