It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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