i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
