Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
