My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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