What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
