Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize