I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
