well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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