And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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