It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
