then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
