I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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