I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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