I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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