Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
