just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
