do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
