Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
