I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
