Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
