Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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