I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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