Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
