My nipple is on Facebook.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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