I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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