Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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