Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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